Thursday, April 3, 2014

Roller Coaster

It's been one of those roller coaster weeks. Zac and I decided to spend time outside the apartment and enjoy weather.

I'm dealing with my grief, still. I don't really like talking about it much, but some things bother me. I feel like my baby doesn't matter. Didn't matter. Mom keeps talking about Rachel's pregnancy and I hate hearing about it.

"Oh, it's going to be so great to have a new baby around. That new-baby smell, those little cries. I can't wait to rock him."

I've hung up on her a few times already. She tries to call back, but I don't answer. I texted her "Try to remember I lost my baby."

I'm tired of hearing garbage like:

It's all in God's plan.

Everything happens for a reason

It wasn't meant to be

At least you've got your other kids

It wasn't even a real baby yet

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