Stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff

Zac took the day off and we headed to Meridian to help my granny move out of her apartment. I visited with Aunt Trish and Anna and they passed they baby around. Granny gave us a much-needed and super comfortable sofa, a coffee table, and some new dishes. I'm so happy because I've been wanting a new sofa for about a year. It's a neutral color and the cushions are sewn to it, so they don't ever move. It's awesome! And the coffee table has wheels, so I can move it around and use it for my teaching books or laptop during school, or easily leave room for Elias or Cole to play on the floor. It's also small enough that it doesn't take up a ton of space. My den is actually looking like a den. Now to just remove the extra clutter.

Cole 2 months

Sweetie Squishy Pumpkin is two months old today! He hates baths (right now) and doesn't really like tummy time. He nurses maybe once or twice during the night and takes two "good" naps a day. He smiles and coos and makes sweet little giggle sounds. His feet are mildly ticklish and he gets really excited when he knows he's about to eat. Car rides are unpredictable. Sometimes he'll sleep in his carseat for a few hours, other times he'll be incredibly cranky. He's wearing size 1 diapers and has outgrown ALL the newborn clothes (*sob*) and is now in 3-month.

I brought him to the doctor on Friday and thrush was confirmed, so we're both using Nystatin - oral drops for him, topical cream for me. I had been unable to breastfeed comfortably on my right side because the pain was intense, even when pumping. Zac picked up some formula and I've been supplementing a little to help Cole feel full since he's only feeding on one side right now. The Nystatin is working pretty well for me. It didn't hurt to pump my right side this morning and I was able to nurse without pain this evening, so I'm happy about that. Meanwhile, I haven't seen a big change on Cole's tongue just yet, but we're only a few days in. I was told I should see a change by day five since his case is a little more advanced. He's also 11 pounds now! And so chunky. 

Thrush is Gross

I started treating Cole's (and mine now *eye roll*) thrush with coconut oil because gentian violet was nowhere to be found in this area. However, Zac requested Walmart to order some and we've been using it since Sunday. Aside from him having a very purple mouth, he appears to be feeling better. The fussiness has been knocked down a few pegs (which makes me feel like a shitty mom for not thinking he'd be experiencing any type of pain). I can't see the results on his tongue right now, but the patch of thrush I could see prior to the purple is smaller. I'm also taking probiotics for my UTI, which are supposed to also aid in curing thrush. Below, you'll see a before-and-after (after is on top) of said thrush while using coconut oil. It's kinda gross. Wednesday I can stop using the gentian violet if my nipple pain is gone. Fingers crossed it is. While it works great, I hate how easily it stains. Last night, the lid was loose, so of course it was knocked over. Fortunately (and unfortunately) the majority of the spill was soaked up by one of Jac's baby hats instead of the stack of library books. It will never not be purple. Zac has purple hands from trying to hand wash it in our sink over our now-purple dishes. Jac and Leah also have purple on their hands from helping clean it up. Meanwhile, Cole looks like Danny DeVito's Penguin character, except much cuter.

C Spire - Mario Kart

C Spire hosted a Mario Kart 8 tournament, so we spent most of the week honing our skills as a family. It came in handy because Leah brought home the champion plaque. She was quite proud of herself. The kids' group went first, which was what she was part of. Jac joined the adults because he's actually really awesome at Mario Kart. There were 16 kids and 30 adults grouped into fours. The top two in each group made it to the next round, then the winners of that round went to the next, and so forth until they were down to the final two. Leah was one of the winners of the kids' tournament and was eligible to compete against the adults.

The adults competed next, with Jac and myself making it to the next round. It was amusing. The host, Rashad, said it was pretty awesome that mother and son were competing against each other. I didn't make it to the next round, but Jac was able to continue, then he lost by a half-second. The winners from the kids' group competed with the adults until it was the final four, and Leah came in a very close second place. The first place winner was actually an employee and he passed on the champion title to make it fair, so Leah won the tournament.

It was really fun this time. Well, fun for me, I should say. Usually I'm holding the baby or keeping Elias out of trouble while Zac and the big kids play games. This time, I had pumped a few bottles so I could pass Cole off to Zac and play some games, too.

UTI and TMI

Are you getting sick of my bodily issues yet? I sure am.

I spoke with a nurse this morning and told her I was uncomfortable taking my new UTI prescription for ciproflaxocin because the side effects are somewhat "worse" than the nitrofurantoin that I had just finished last week. Cole has developed what looks like oral thrush from what I can only assume came from me taking the nitro, so I didn't want to risk it getting even worse with the cipro. I also asked her how bad the bacteria build up was since my results always show a "bad" UTI. She looked up my chart and said I really only have a mild UTI, not "really bad" as I was told the other day. I also let her know I believe I have asymptomatic bacteriuria, which explains my having zero UTI symptoms regardless of the bacteria. She also agreed that I may have killed off a lot of good bacteria from the frequent antibiotic use, so she recommended I go a natural route to build up my good bacteria. I need to drink water, cranberry juice, and orange juice, as well as take a probiotic and eat a lot of yogurt. I'm perfectly fine with that because I hate taking medication, especially antibiotics. Plus, I don't want anything passing through my breastmilk that will do more harm to Cole. This assumed thrush on his tongue looks gross enough as it is and I'm almost certain I'm developing symptoms of having it in my right nipple and that boob isn't emptying completely anymore, even with the pump. I had it when I was breastfeeding Leah and it was incredibly unpleasant. I'm hoping my probiotic use will help his thrush, but I plan to use gentian violet like I did with Leah. It worked quickly and smelled nice, even though it turned my milk light purple.

Post Partum Part Two

I went back to have a second cell-scraping since there wasn't enough collected last week and STILL have a "really bad" UTI. Awesome. Other than that, everything is normal with me and I can get back to regular routines. I'm very excited to start working out again, as well as riding my bike around and feeling like me. It's just the goddamned UTI to deal with that seemingly evolved into something immune to the antibiotic I was given. I've got a new antibiotic to try, so hopefully it works.

It's Clean up Time!

To Elias, everything is Something-Time. Wake-up time, reading time, eat time, etc. you get it.

I was watching Hoarders the other night (without distraction) and I decided to clean out my kitchen cabinets and tackle the kids' rooms. I've got some lovely before and after shots of the kitchen and Jac's room (but not Leah and Elias' room because I had gone through their things last month and only cleaned out toys this time). And don't mind the fish tank, it was cleaned after pics.

Note: This cleaning spree began when I walked into the kitchen one morning after being begged by two big kids to let them stay up late if they promised to clean the kitchen and den. I walked into the kitchen the following morning and their definition of clean was not the same as mine. I photographed my kitchen in its "before" state, made notes on what I wanted to put in all the cabinets, then set to rearranging the cabinets and throwing out or donating everything I didn't need/want. It came in handy as I found a box of soup mix that had expired a year ago... I honestly HATE having a lazy Susan cabinet as well as awkward corner cabinets, but I found a random YouTube video on how to organize them and bought some turn tables. It made a huge difference. 

Jac's room was cleaned up when it became his room a few months ago, but "It's just a sock" became "WTF happened" in a short amount of time. I went into his room to check for dirty clothes and snapped.

It's a work in progress. I'm still decluttering and sorting and will probably be doing so for quite some time. For now, I've felt productive and I'm digging the clutter-free zones.

Post-Partum TMI & random

Six weeks later and I'm not fully back to my old self. I still have a UTI, which doesn't make sense because I don't feel like I have one. But, that means I've had a UTI for the past 6-8 weeks. There's also irritation from hormone changes and such and UGH, when can I feel like me again? I don't mean to complain. I'm actually lucky because Cole takes predictable naps twice a day and doesn't cry NEARLY as much as Elias did (omfg), and he sleeps in 3-4 hour intervals during the night. He's also very good about taking car rides. I guess I'm just feeling frustrated because I feel like I've been swallowing random pills for six weeks.

Off of that. The decluttering is going amazing. I dropped off about seven bags of things to the local thrift store this afternoon and I've got an appointment at the consignment shop for the end of February (which means I need to sort out the spring clothes that Zac JUST packed away). My kitchen has never looked cleaner and my den is staying as neat as it can right now. Zac bought some shelves so I can help the big kids get their rooms organized. We're looking into the possibility of moving in a year or two because we're definitely needing an extra bedroom. The more I can toss and sort now (and up until that idea is definite), the less we'll have to pack up or worry about.

Gingerbread & Milk

Zac bought a gingerbread house the day after Christmas because we forgot to buy one sooner. It's been sitting on top of our fridge with "we'll do it this weekend" on repeat. It was a little crazy putting it together, but also much more simple as it was cut out to fit together. It was also a little Scroogey as Elias was overly excited/possessive of his side-window piece and wiped his nose along the edges of it, then proceeded to sneeze on it. It was very eyeroll-worthy. Needless to say, the big kids were reluctant to put the house together for a picture, so it was promptly separated for cootie-preventative measures. However, they had fun. The candy selection was drab, so I pulled out our extra candy stash and spruced it up a bunch. Festive indeed!

I was gifted an electric breast pump, so I've been able to more efficiently supply on-the-go bottles for Cole while we're running errands or stuck in the car (without it being parked) and him demanding to eat NOW because SOON is unreasonable. I did learn that he's a picky fella who prefers body-temperature milk as opposed to icepack-temperature (understandable, but c'mon, Mama was in a hurry and wasn't thinking). He did end up drinking it, but not before entering what can only be described as Ultimate Rage. Afterward, he was satisfied enough to sleep through a trip to Target and PetsMart. I'm assuming he's forgiven my insolence, because he smiled at me quite a bit this evening and it wasn't followed by a diaper change.

New Year's Eve and stuff

I meant to post a few days ago, but haven't been sleeping much and I've also been super busy de-cluttering. Anyhoo, for New Year's eve, we hung out with Mom since Meredith and Matt were local with their kiddos. She and Rachel fixed junk foods and I spent most of the time with my baby on my boob in Mom's room, watching The Hunger Games with Molly. It was a nice visit, especially since it wasn't encased in mourning. I even made a mince meat fruit cake again, which turned out better this year than last.

I should add: I made a resolution to have more self-control with personal purchases, be more neat, as in tidying more frequently, and to remove much clutter and things I don't need, like tons of holiday decorations, knick knacks, etc. I've actually impressed myself in doing these things because I tend to feel guilty letting go of possessions. However, I came across a random Instagram clip and a woman said something that stuck with me. She was holding on to a sweater that her late aunt knitted for her. She kept it in hopes to let her own daughters inherit it, but once she was grown, she admitted she wouldn't want her daughters to wear it (it was tacky, she said), so she decided to let it go. She took a picture of it to remember it, but donated the sweater. What she said, though I don't have the exact quote, was that the sweater somehow represented her aunt and if she were to get rid of it, it felt as though she were getting rid of her aunt, or a piece of her aunt. But, it was just a sweater. Donating it didn't mean she loved her aunt any less. It was just a sweater. I find that I keep things for the same reason... it's a piece of that person. But, because I came across that clip, something clicked and it's been much easier removing things I don't need (not all things, but most things).

Example of this newfound self-control: I went to Bath & Body Works to pick up my favorite Cucumber Melon scent in shower gel, but it was sold out at two local stores, so we had to go to the mall to get it. I passed Halloween decorations that were on sale and half-priced candles, but didn't even feel the urge to make extra purchases. I got my shower gels and some hand sanitizers and checked out. I'm growing up.

2019 - A year in review: 2018

A year in review: 2018

1. What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
*Played in actual fluffy snow. Held a baby alligator.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
*I actually didn't make any for 2018. For 2019, I plan to abolish soda and fast food (at least for January and go from there). Oh, and be more active, but not a fitness fanatic.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
*Katie had Jacob, then Kaleena had Savannah, and I had Cole.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
*My dad.

5. What countries did you visit?
*I bought a calendar of Ireland...

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
*More organization, new paint colors on the walls, a new sofa that hasn't been shredded by asshole cats.

7. What events from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory?
*Dad's death, Cole's birth.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
*Removed toxic people from my life.
*Wore leggings and didn't care how huge my ass looked.

9. What was your biggest failure?
*Letting little things stress me out.

10. Did you suffer an illness or injury?
*Does miscarriage count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
*Tickets to see Garbage and Backstreet Boys! My inner 15-year-old is screaming.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
*Zac was hired at his new job after much (good) pestering.

13.Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
*See toxic people above.

14. Where did most of your money go?
*Buying a van, Christmas.

15. What did you get really excited about?
*Adding Cole to the family.

16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
*I haven't listened to the radio all year, so I honestly have no idea.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
-Happier or sadder? Slightly happier, e.g. new baby.
-Thinner or fatter? Fatter.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
*Hanging out with Dad. Crocheting, painting, reading. Spending more time with kids.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
*Worrying over little things. Losing patience with the kids. Staying home so much.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
*We went to Louisiana to see friends and some of Zac's family, returning home so late we couldn't bake cookies for Santa or open the Eve gift, and we ate Chinese food that made me sick. Mike and Ashley hung out for a bit and we took a walk to the park.

21. Did you fall in love in 2018?
*With my youngest little boy, yes indeed.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
*Hell's Kitchen and The Great British Baking Show.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
*Hate's a strong word. Let's go with "I've realized we're very different people and are better off going our separate ways".

24.What was the best book you read?
*I didn't read much, though I listened to the Les Miserables audio book (some of it, at least), as well as The Graveyard Book.

25. What was your favorite musical discovery?
*Pandora doesn't offer much change from artists and I don't listen to the radio, but I'm going to give Spotify a chance this year and hope to hear some good stuff.

26. What did you want and get?
*A baby.

27. What did you want and not get?
*Finding out I'm the heir to a rich relative's fortune.
*A French bulldog.
*Less clutter.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
*I'd say Infinity War because I love The Avengers, but omg, I can't.
*Black Panther

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
*I was hugely pregnant and miserable, so I stayed home. But, Zac cooked me breakfast for dinner and brought home a carrot cake. I turned 35.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

*Less grief, for sure. Being more organized. Less pregnancy-related discomfort.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
*I lived in leggings or pajamas for most of the year. but I'm pretty sure it'd be a 90s era style otherwise.

32. What kept you sane?
*The ears of close friends, Zac, crocheting.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
*Shirley Manson, Amanda Palmer.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
*The border bullshit. I can't begin to understand the trauma those separated families endured and are still enduring.

35. Who did you miss?
*Emily. Always.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
*Baby Jacob, but also Cole, of course.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
*Removing a fake friend makes room for a real one.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
*Amanda Palmer wrote a song called "In My Mind" and it sums up every year, especially when it comes to making New Year's resolutions.

And in my mind
When I'm old I am beautiful
Planting tulips and vegetables
Which I will mindfully watch over
Not like me now
I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older
And it's funny how I imagined
That I could be that person now
But that's not what I want
But that's what I wanted
And I'd be giving up somehow
How strange to see
That I don't wanna be the person that I want to be