Another Nephew

Carlton and Rachel welcomed baby Brendan to the world today. Another boy!

Roller Coaster

It's been one of those roller coaster weeks. Zac and I decided to spend time outside the apartment and enjoy weather.

I'm dealing with my grief, still. I don't really like talking about it much, but some things bother me. I feel like my baby doesn't matter. Didn't matter. Mom keeps talking about Rachel's pregnancy and I hate hearing about it.

"Oh, it's going to be so great to have a new baby around. That new-baby smell, those little cries. I can't wait to rock him."

I've hung up on her a few times already. She tries to call back, but I don't answer. I texted her "Try to remember I lost my baby."

I'm tired of hearing garbage like:

It's all in God's plan.

Everything happens for a reason

It wasn't meant to be

At least you've got your other kids

It wasn't even a real baby yet

St. Patrick's Day 2014

We drove out to New Orleans to meet up with Jessie and Joey at their place. We followed them to the St. Patrick's Day parade and ate crawfish at Jessie's Mom's house.

Random Update

It's been a busy month. Leah has learned reading basics and is in love with books. She favors Dr. Seuss and collects a little armful of books and heads to her room, reading one after the other. Jac has started reading Charlotte's Web after insisting he was "too little for chapter books". He loves it, though, and I've been asking him what the chapters are about and he can tell me in detail.

Meanwhile, it looks like we're staying in Louisiana a while longer. I don't mind, but I think if we are going to stay, we need to move towards New Orleans. I would love to live near Jessie and spend more time with her. She and Joey invited us to go to a St. Patrick's Day parade this Sunday, so I'm going to go to Target to find green clothes.

Random Update

We have visited my parents' house twice this month, so far. Zac had his interview and I believe it went well, but we're still waiting to hear a definite "yes" or "no" regarding his employment.

This year, we plan to get both the dogs fixed, buy them new kennels, fix Zac's motorcycle, and maybe even plan a trip to Disney in the fall. Mom and Dad might go with us, so I'm going to be checking a few different package options.

I started a new workout called 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels. It's kicking my butt, but I know I'll be glad I stuck with it in the long run. So far, I'm down 15 pounds. Just 10 more to go! I can sort of fit in my pre-baby jeans (meaning, I can button them, but probably shouldn't wear them just yet).

We haven't been able to go to the park, but we've managed to go to the lakefront. The kids like the playground and it's nice being by the water. We're considering taking the 20-mile bike trail this weekend, even if we only ride halfway.

Full Moon

It's the day of love... for werewolves!

Dollhouse, Nature, & Snow, Oh My.

Zac bought me a dollhouse and I've been trying to put it together. It's a very interesting project. I won't say I hate gluing things, but I definitely don't love it. The bigger house hasn't found a home in our apartment and I don't think it ever will, so I'm giving it back to Aunt Trish.

Zac and I have started a weekly outing where we take our kids and dogs to the park so the kids can ride their bikes and the dogs can get some exercise. We've all been enjoying it very much, even in the cold weather.

It snowed a bit this week! I call it snow, even though it's technically ice. A lot of slippery, crunchy ice.

Date night

The kids are spending the night with my parents, so Zac and I decided to go on a date; something we haven't done for a few years. We are going to see Mockingjay: Part 1 and splurge on snacks.

New Year's 2014

Emily and Alex came to stay with us for New Year's. Marie invited us to her house to shoot fireworks and eat snacky foods. We had a fun time.

My parents came with Abbi to stay with us, so our apartment was full of family. They brought me a dollhouse that once belonged to my younger cousin, Christina. Fun fact: I've wanted a dollhouse my whole life. I asked for one every birthday, Christmas, just-because-day, etc. and never got one. At the lovely age of 30, I receive a hand-me-down dollhouse that needs hardcore re-vamping. Don't get me wrong, I plan to fix it up, but there's a disappointment behind the gesture. Mom even told me, "Be glad you got one now that you're old so you can fix it up. If you had one when you were little you wouldn't have taken care of it."

Old...

I'm too old to play with it, but I guess I could adopt a new hobby of tinkering with it. I'll be the grandma with the antique doll house that "should be looked at but never played with".

Speaking of old: I fell off the curb over the weekend. I've got a patch of skin missing on my right knee, which still leaves me limping. Both knees are bruised pretty badly.

2014 - A year in review: 2013

A year in review: 2013

1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?

Totaled a vehicle.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more?

I kept most of them! I definitely crocheted more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Miscarriage counts, right?

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

A successful pregnancy.

7. What events from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory?

Wrecking the Blazer, losing my baby, Jac breaking his arm... I mean, c'mon.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting a new car.

9. What was your biggest failure?

My body.

10. Did you suffer an illness or injury?

I lost my baby.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A new car. Bikes for the kids.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I dunno.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Jac for climbing on the footstool and breaking his arm, haha.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Getting the Galant.

15. What did you get really excited about?

Adding another baby to our family.

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

Not a reminder, but omg I heard that fucking Blurred Lines garbage way too many times.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

-Happier or sadder? Sadder.

-Thinner or fatter: Fatter.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Reading.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

Heavy lifting.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Work had a Christmas party at Acme Oyster House. We played Dirty Santa and I had a few too many amaretto sours. Zac's job had a Christmas party as well, so we went to New Orleans to bowl and attend a cooking course. Fun stuff.

21. Did you fall in love in 2013?

I did.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

The Office, New Girl, Dexter, True Blood, Bones.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate's a strong word.

24. What was the best book you read?

Gone Girl.

25. What was your favorite musical discovery?

Pandora.

26. What did you want and get?

A car. Also a puppy.

27. What did you want and not get?

A baby.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Thor.

29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?

I worked, made myself a cookie cake. Zac bought me a cake and some macarons. I turned 30.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not having a miscarriage.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Comfy. Jeans. Tank tops.

32. What kept you sane?

My blog. Forums. Friends.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Same as always.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

A positive stirring: Equal rights is happening.

35. Who do you miss?

I don't know.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

New co-workers at the cookie place.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.

Be realistic. Bad luck exists.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I listened to a lot of classical piano this year.

Cakes

Christmas 2013

We spent Christmas Eve at Mawmaw's and Marie's, exchanging gifts and chatting while the kids ran wild around the house. Jac has a nice purple bruise on his hip as a result. Francesca really liked her matching scarves. Leah has enough glittery items to fill a pixie forest.

We got home late, but baked and decorated Santa's cookies anyway.

Zac worked Christmas morning, which sucked, but he was only gone about two hours. We had our traditional cinnamon roll-breakfast and opened gifts. Sean's mom invited us over for lunch, which was so nice of her.

Hopefully next year Santa will bring just one gift for each of the kids and Mama will do the whole "something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read" gifts. That is, if my soon-to-be eight-year-old still holds on to his Santa magic.