Liver me timbers

When I was little, my parents used to buy the family-sized deal of fried chicken from Popeye's. I think it was a Sunday tradition. One time, they ordered a side of chicken liver. Gross. I swore I would never try it. But then, Dad offered me a taste, disguised as "dark meat" and it was delicious, though I still felt weird eating it. I went zombie-mode on that chicken liver and never looked back. One year, when I was going to church, the youth-leader was making an order for Popeye's and I was the weirdo who wanted the livers. I found it amusing that nobody wanted to even try a tiny piece. My fat ass indulged with unbridled jubilation and I was "the girl who munched livers".

Earlier this week, I had a craving for chicken liver and convinced Zac that it was a life-or-death situation. I would turn myself inside out if I couldn't eat the livers. He reluctantly went out to make the purchase to soothe the beast Bud within. After consuming the much sought-after craving, followed by an enormous glass of Barq's Red Cream Soda, I ran right to the toilet and became a human volcano. I will never touch liver again (at least not any time soon). The same goes for Wendy's Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.

Tonight, Zac brought me to a seafood restaurant for a late-Valentine's Day dinner. We usually do celebrations after the holidays to avoid the wait and to get the discounted seasonal things. The idea that gumbo would be tasty popped into my over-crowded brain. I made the order, but once it arrived and I smelled it, something churned and told me do not put it in my mouth. What did I do, you ask? I put it in my mouth. A few minutes later, I knew I'd be seeing that bite again. As I was hurrying to the bathroom, I bumped into a girl I used to go to church with. She chatted with me for a second with the "Hey, oh my god, it's been forever!" speech, while I struggled to be polite and nod, desperately trying to keep my food dynamite from detonating. I hope I wasn't rude when I excused myself quickly and rushed into the bathroom and threw everything up. My waitress copped an attitude with me when I asked for a To-Go box, but I was ready to get out of there and get home. This little Bud is making my food choices unpredictable.

23 Weeks

I went to my appointment yesterday and heard Bud's heartbeat. He's doing just fine, growing as he should. Unfortunately, I've gained about 10 more pounds in the past five weeks, so I'm on a "diet". I'm so aggravated that they keep changing things back and forth. My weight is fluctuating to the extremes and I don't know why, they don't know why, and I'm crumbling. My fingers are fat, my ankles are fat, and my face is fat. Fat, fat, fat. They keep telling me everything is normal. No high blood pressure, no diabetes, or anything along those lines. Just "weight gain". It's so confusing.

Pregnancy Highlights:
How far along: 23 weeks.
Size of baby: A papaya!
Total weight gain/loss: 20-25 pounds. Ugh.
Maternity clothes: My overalls and pajama pants.
Gender: Still a boy.
Movement: Very much lately. He even gets hiccups.
Sleep: This week, I've slept really well.
What I miss: Nothing still.
Cravings: Bean burritos from Taco Bell still. No onions.
Symptoms: Having to pee all the time.
Best moment this week: Eating a bean burrito and feeling full.

All the boxes

Wow, I haven't written in here in a while, huh? Sorry. I've been busy sorting through our things, packing junk into boxes and making trips with Zac to Hammond and back. Kenny is letting us move back into the house and we're trying to clean and get a nursery set up for our little Bud. I'm hoping this weekend will be our last trip so we can get settled. It's exhausting!

New Year's 2006

Happy New Year!

Zac and I went to my parents' last week to celebrate a late Christmas. Emily and Alex have moved in with them temporarily until they find their own apartment. We all went to Meredith's to see little Molly and pass her around. She fell asleep in my arms while I was giving her a bottle. She's so tiny and cute. I'm so ready to hold my own baby already.

Christmas 2005

Zac and I have the house to ourselves since Mawmaw in in Mexico for the holidays. We're pup-sitting Mac and Otis while she's away. Our Christmas was cozy. I didn't feel like riding in the car to visit my family, so we spent it together. We played WoW and had our own tiny Christmas dinner of canned vegetables and a rotisserie chicken and watched a few Christmas movies. I fell down in the shower this evening since my belly is throwing me off balance, but everything is okay. Bud wasn't moving for a little while, so Zac started yelling at him and he fluttered. There's no blood, so I'm not stressing. I'm annoyingly clumsy right now, even with a small belly. I've got bruises and scratches all over from bumping into all the things. We're going to stay up late and see how many times we can watch A Christmas Story while it runs its marathon on TV.

Happy Holidays, from us *clink*.

It's a...

BOY!
I had an ultrasound this afternoon. We are definitely having a baby boy! His growth was on target, heartbeat was strong. I could see his little skull and spine, hands and feet, etc. It was awesome! My perfect baby boy.

Pregnancy Highlights:

How far along: 18 weeks.

Size of baby: A bell pepper!

Total weight gain/loss: Gained about 15 pounds.

Maternity clothes: I live in my maternity overalls.

Gender: Boy!!

Movement: Yes, though it isn't very strong yet.

Sleep: Super tired with many naps, but random bouts of energy. Vivid dreams.

What I miss: Nothing right now.

Cravings: Taco Bell's bean burritos and ice. I want to crunch ice often.

Symptoms: Sore boobs, frequent trips to pee, super tired, not so nauseated anymore.

Best moment this week: Feeling him kick.

Auntie

Congrats to Meredith! She's the proud mama to Baby Molly.

Just One Little Thing...

I was sitting at the counter in Mawmaw's kitchen, sipping hot chocolate and daydreaming about Bud and baby names and sushi. Zac was letting Zoey outside to do her business, when he came back in and asked me to go outside with him to see how pretty the sky looked. I was hesitant to go outside because it's cold and Mawmaw's kitchen was warm and cozy. When we were dating, we were walking around the mall and he kept hinting that we go into B. Dalton, a bookstore. I kept telling him no, that we had to hurry and get home, yaddayaddayadda. Later, I found out he wanted to buy me a book I'd had my eye on for a while. I didn't want to disappoint him again, so, despite the freezing cold, I said, "Alright."

Sure enough, the moon was bright, the sky was cloudy and blue-grey. I was shivering, so Zac put his arm around me. We were just looking up at the sky at the moon when he asked, "Will you marry me?" Obviously, I said, "Of course!" and kissed him on the cheek. That's when he pulled out a little white box and said, "No, really, will you marry me?" Needless to say, I'm engaged! I think Bud could feel my excitement because I felt the tiniest of tiny flutters tonight while I was lying on the bed.

Home Date

I had an OB appointment Monday, but didn't get an ultrasound. I still don't know for sure if Bud is a boy or a girl. According to Dr. N, I'm healthy and gained a few more pounds. My tests were clear and Bud's growing on schedule with a strong heartbeat. I go back in three weeks for another check-up.

Zac surprised me with a home-date last night. He set us up with popcorn and hot chocolate and we watched an Ellen special on HBO. I love Ellen. I don't think we've laughed so much in a long time. Man, it's going to be so weird having a baby squished between us on the bed in a few months, but I'm looking forward to it.

Thanksgiving 2005

We made a trip to Mississippi to see my parents' new apartment and visit for Thanksgiving. After Hurricane Katrina, my parents had some damage to their Louisiana apartment. Since Carlton and Meredith live in Mississippi, Mom wanted to be closer to them, so they moved a while back. It's a cute place, nice and cozy with a fireplace. Mom cooked so much food. I've been gorging nibbling on fudge and watching old Bugs Bunny cartoons with Dad, Zac, and Emily. Carlton and Meredith and their families are arriving tomorrow.

Zac's Birthday

Happy Birthday to my sweetheart!

We were going to eat beignets at the train station but they were closed today. Instead, we snuggled up in bed and watched movies and napped.

I'm sorry this entry is so tiny. I've been feeling sick. If I had a laptop, I could write from my bed, but for now, I'll just struggle to update when I can.

13 week Ultrasound

I went to my OB appointment and saw my little Bud again on the monitor. Zac brought a video tape so we could record his/her first video. Dr. N thinks it's a boy, so I'm excited! It's still a little early to tell, but there's evidence of boy parts forming. I'm gaining weight a little fast, so I'm changing to a lighter diet. I swear, one week it's "Eat more!" the next it's "Eat less!" My body can't handle all the wishy-washy crap.
Oh, but isn't this little black-and-white creature just the cutest?

Pregnancy Highlights:

How far along: 13 weeks.

Size of baby: A lime!

Total weight gain/loss: It's getting up there.

Maternity clothes: A few. Two pairs of jeans and three shirts. My regular jeans are uncomfortable now.

Gender: Possible boy!

Movement: Nothing yet.

Sleep: Restless. I've been sleeping a lot, but not thoroughly and my dreams are weird.

What I miss: Piña colada daiquiris. 

Cravings: Mexican food and Chinese food. Salty stuff and Icees.

Symptoms: Bloated-looking, tired, occasional nausea, hungry more often, bigger boobs.

Best moment this week: Seeing Bud on the screen again.

Belly Buddies

Meredith and Matt are in town from Mississippi for a few days. Zac had to work, so they offered to pick me up and take me to lunch. It was nice visiting with them, as I don't see them often. Meredith and I have never been very close, but she's my big sister and we're pregnant together. She's at the end of her pregnancy while I'm at the beginning, but we're both becoming mothers.

Announcement

I read somewhere once that Olive Garden is a place where people tend to break news to others, whether it's good or bad. Got fired? Go to Olive Garden and let the spouse know. Someone died? Go to Olive Garden and eat your feelings. Pregnant? Go to Olive Garden and tell the family.

Today is Mawmaw's birthday. Zac's Aunt Janie and Uncle Dean treated all of us to dinner at Olive Garden. Christmas is approaching, so Aunt Janie asked Zac and me what we'd like. A nervous glance to each other, a hesitation, and a list of "baby stuff" came tumbling out like quarters in a casino jackpot. Things got weird quickly as the subject changed from congrats-on-the-bun to you-need-to-get-married. Zac and I are in no rush to pay for a wedding, especially since these same people didn't want us to get married last year when we wanted to elope to Vegas. Right now, we're just going to keep saving money. Once the baby comes, we'll think about marriage again.

Birthday

Zac took me out to dinner for my birthday. I feel like I'm not eating enough, even though I'm clearly eating more than enough. I've also been needing to walk around after eating anything lately, otherwise, I get horrible pains all over. So, we walked around the mall and hung out in the book store for a bit. Zac bought me a paperback copy of Interview With the Vampire (one of my favorite books) and we looked at a few engagement rings (eep!) before heading to Baskin Robin's for ice cream. All I want now is sleep. So much sleep on a cool pillow under clean sheets. Ah, bliss.

Halloween 2005

Halloween has been my absolute favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. Christmas is also nice, but Halloween is my favorite. I love the decorations, the crisp air, the autumn colors, the pumpkins, etc. I could seriously list every single aspect and it would take up this whole entry.

When I was little, I lived in New Orleans. I remember going Trick-or-Treating once with Meredith, Carlton, and Krystal. When we moved to Pearl River, my parents didn't want us Trick-or-Treating anymore. I blame the church we went to as the pastor was very fire-and-brimstone. I'm surprised we were able to decorate Christmas trees. When I grew older, I told myself if I ever had kids, I would take them Trick-or-Treating, as well as participate in all the other holidays.

Since I don't have a kid to take Trick-or-Treating (yet), Emily and Alex invited us to go watch Saw II at the movie theater... a waste of money, in my opinion. It was exactly like Saw. I don't get the hype around it. We were going to go back to their place after the movie, but the queasiness kicked in full-force, so we had to come home. I'm looking forward to the next trimester when the queasiness (hopefully) goes away.

Breaking News

Zac was sick last week, so now I'm sick this week. My throat hurts, so I can't eat much more than brothy soups and mushy crackers. Totally not what I want at all. In other news, autumn is in the air, so Zac and I are going to take Zoey for a walk and enjoy the colors and fresh air.

We told Mawmaw and Kenny about the baby coming. Mawmaw was indifferent (which we expected), but Kenny was happy for us. Mawmaw is just worried about us, I think. She wants Zac to get a better job so he can provide for us and so we can get our own place. We've got some money saved, but it's not enough to get our own place yet. 

Bud

I started bleeding yesterday afternoon. The nurse at the Pregnancy Crisis Center told me how common miscarriages are, to monitor myself for cramping, keep track of the blood color (red is bad, brown is good), and try to rest. I did as instructed and the bleeding eased up. However, this morning I woke up to bright red droplets, so Zac brought me to the emergency room. We waited about three hours, worrying about the worst. I tried to watch Seinfeld on the waiting room TV to distract myself, but I was worried. I was finally called back, poked with needles and stuffed with a catheter so the nurses could run tests. It was humiliating and painful and completely unnecessary, but what do I know, I'm just a "patient".
Finally, after what seemed like days, I was able to see my little Bud, floating around on the screen with tiny flipper-like hands and feet. The fluttering heartbeat was strong and steady. From the measurements, I'm eight weeks and three days pregnant, making Bud's due date May 23. I was told to take it easy and take my vitamins, but everything looks good. I'm just nervous. The bleeding went away this evening so I'm just going to take it one day at a time and hope I can meet him or her in May.

Bud-post

I went to the clinic and met my OBGYN, Dr. N. My height, weight, and blood was checked and I'm "surprisingly underweight" (???) I have to increase my calorie intake. I'm also slightly anemic. I can now indulge in all the pasta and Bourbon chicken I want to satisfy these salt cravings.

Pregnancy Highlights:
How far along: Maybe 9 weeks?
Size of baby: A grape!
Total weight gain: Not much.
Maternity Clothes: None yet. So far, nothing is too snug.
Gender: No idea.
Movement: None yet.
Sleep: A lot. Naps are my favorite.
What I miss: Wine.
Cravings: Salty food. Mainly Chinese chicken or egg rolls.
Symptoms: Tired, random nausea throughout the day, sensitive to certain smells (perfume, mostly).
Best moment this week: Reading the development of each week. Bud is growing so fast every week. It's just amazing.

An unexpected surprise & some TMI

When I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). I was informed by more than one doctor that I wasn't able to ovulate on my own, which is why I was the only girl in my group of friends who didn't carry tampons in her handbag. Pregnancy was "unlikely" to ever happen to me, so I accepted that I would one day own a few small-breed mutts and call them my babies. Zac was on board, we high-fived, and that was that. However, just last night Zac and I were driving around, listening to music and enjoying the autumn air when for no reason at all I was overcome with nausea. I just wanted to go home and either throw up or die. We headed home and I tried to think of what could possibly be wrong with me all of a sudden: No fever, no upset stomach, just nausea that went away after eating a few crackers... and feeling a little larger in the bra region, and how tired I've been this week, and how sick to my stomach Mawmaw's Jumex Strawberry-Banana nectars (my favorite thing) made me feel. We went to Walmart and I reluctantly made the purchase of a two-count pregnancy test kit "just in case".

I waited about a minute, not expecting to see much more than a negative result, as I've seen a few times in the past. But, where there was supposed to be a "plus" symbol, it had a vertical line, not a horizontal, which didn't look like a negative nor positive. Thinking the test was faulty, I used the second one, but got the same vertical line. To make sure of what I was seeing, I called the 1-800 number on the box and the receptionist confirmed it. We are having a baby.