Halloween 2005

Halloween has been my absolute favorite holiday for as long as I can remember. Christmas is also nice, but Halloween is my favorite. I love the decorations, the crisp air, the autumn colors, the pumpkins, etc. I could seriously list every single aspect and it would take up this whole entry.

When I was little, I lived in New Orleans. I remember going Trick-or-Treating once with Meredith, Carlton, and Krystal. When we moved to Pearl River, my parents didn't want us Trick-or-Treating anymore. I blame the church we went to as the pastor was very fire-and-brimstone. I'm surprised we were able to decorate Christmas trees. When I grew older, I told myself if I ever had kids, I would take them Trick-or-Treating, as well as participate in all the other holidays.

Since I don't have a kid to take Trick-or-Treating (yet), Emily and Alex invited us to go watch Saw II at the movie theater... a waste of money, in my opinion. It was exactly like Saw. I don't get the hype around it. We were going to go back to their place after the movie, but the queasiness kicked in full-force, so we had to come home. I'm looking forward to the next trimester when the queasiness (hopefully) goes away.

Breaking News

Zac was sick last week, so now I'm sick this week. My throat hurts, so I can't eat much more than brothy soups and mushy crackers. Totally not what I want at all. In other news, autumn is in the air, so Zac and I are going to take Zoey for a walk and enjoy the colors and fresh air.

We told Mawmaw and Kenny about the baby coming. Mawmaw was indifferent (which we expected), but Kenny was happy for us. Mawmaw is just worried about us, I think. She wants Zac to get a better job so he can provide for us and so we can get our own place. We've got some money saved, but it's not enough to get our own place yet. 

Bud

I started bleeding yesterday afternoon. The nurse at the Pregnancy Crisis Center told me how common miscarriages are, to monitor myself for cramping, keep track of the blood color (red is bad, brown is good), and try to rest. I did as instructed and the bleeding eased up. However, this morning I woke up to bright red droplets, so Zac brought me to the emergency room. We waited about three hours, worrying about the worst. I tried to watch Seinfeld on the waiting room TV to distract myself, but I was worried. I was finally called back, poked with needles and stuffed with a catheter so the nurses could run tests. It was humiliating and painful and completely unnecessary, but what do I know, I'm just a "patient".
Finally, after what seemed like days, I was able to see my little Bud, floating around on the screen with tiny flipper-like hands and feet. The fluttering heartbeat was strong and steady. From the measurements, I'm eight weeks and three days pregnant, making Bud's due date May 23. I was told to take it easy and take my vitamins, but everything looks good. I'm just nervous. The bleeding went away this evening so I'm just going to take it one day at a time and hope I can meet him or her in May.

Bud-post

I went to the clinic and met my OBGYN, Dr. N. My height, weight, and blood was checked and I'm "surprisingly underweight" (???) I have to increase my calorie intake. I'm also slightly anemic. I can now indulge in all the pasta and Bourbon chicken I want to satisfy these salt cravings.

Pregnancy Highlights:
How far along: Maybe 9 weeks?
Size of baby: A grape!
Total weight gain: Not much.
Maternity Clothes: None yet. So far, nothing is too snug.
Gender: No idea.
Movement: None yet.
Sleep: A lot. Naps are my favorite.
What I miss: Wine.
Cravings: Salty food. Mainly Chinese chicken or egg rolls.
Symptoms: Tired, random nausea throughout the day, sensitive to certain smells (perfume, mostly).
Best moment this week: Reading the development of each week. Bud is growing so fast every week. It's just amazing.

An unexpected surprise & some TMI

When I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). I was informed by more than one doctor that I wasn't able to ovulate on my own, which is why I was the only girl in my group of friends who didn't carry tampons in her handbag. Pregnancy was "unlikely" to ever happen to me, so I accepted that I would one day own a few small-breed mutts and call them my babies. Zac was on board, we high-fived, and that was that. However, just last night Zac and I were driving around, listening to music and enjoying the autumn air when for no reason at all I was overcome with nausea. I just wanted to go home and either throw up or die. We headed home and I tried to think of what could possibly be wrong with me all of a sudden: No fever, no upset stomach, just nausea that went away after eating a few crackers... and feeling a little larger in the bra region, and how tired I've been this week, and how sick to my stomach Mawmaw's Jumex Strawberry-Banana nectars (my favorite thing) made me feel. We went to Walmart and I reluctantly made the purchase of a two-count pregnancy test kit "just in case".

I waited about a minute, not expecting to see much more than a negative result, as I've seen a few times in the past. But, where there was supposed to be a "plus" symbol, it had a vertical line, not a horizontal, which didn't look like a negative nor positive. Thinking the test was faulty, I used the second one, but got the same vertical line. To make sure of what I was seeing, I called the 1-800 number on the box and the receptionist confirmed it. We are having a baby.

The calm

Home again, home again, jiggity jog.

I wasn't able to keep up with posting while we were evacuated. There were power-outages, boredom, naps, and exploring, so posting was pushed to the back burner. I guess I should also add that we didn't have access to a computer except maybe once or twice when we brought our computer tower to Zac's Aunt Donna's friend's house.

What you missed: Not too much, really. I'll shorthand it.

There was a lot of drama happening at Meredith's when we arrived. Meredith is a pastor's wife and has strong convictions about nontraditional relationships, i.e., sharing a bed while not married. Zac and I live together and are not married. When the tension started, Mawmaw called to tell Zac that his Aunt Donna had space for us, but we'd have to drive to Tennessee. I don't think we've ever left a location with as much speed as we did that day to head toward the mountains! However, Emily and Alex were stuck with Meredith and Matt, dealing with those convictions. Granny (my maternal grandma) picked Dad up from Hattiesburg and brought him to Meredith's house.

Tennessee was amazing. I told Zac we need to consider moving there, maybe before we have kids. The weather was absolutely beautiful. We stayed with Donna for a few weeks, looking for work and exploring. Zac's cousin, Christina, and her family were staying with Donna as well. I learned a little of Zac when he was young, like how he used to play with Barbies.

We've been back at Mawmaw's for about a week. Her house is fine, no damage. The yard flooded a bit, though. There are muddy crawfish houses scattered all over the lot, along with broken branches and puddles. We don't have cable, but I don't mind. I've been drawing and haven't been feeling like myself. Also, Pac Sun hired someone else for full-time while we were out of state, so I've got to look for myself a new job. Oh well.

Pouring misery down.

Right now in the south, there's a hurricane happening. Hurricane Katrina is basically intent on destroying much of New Orleans and some surrounding areas. Zac and I evacuated per mandatory orders and spent eight hours (instead of the usual three) in the car with Amber, Zoey, and Mawmaw's dog, Otis. Otis had a puppy panic attack when we reached Meredith's. Everything is chaotic right now. I'm only able to use the computer for a little while as the power may go out.

Dad is in Hattiesburg, which is about two hours from here. He just had his gallbladder removed and was in the midst of recovering when they had to transfer him to a safer hospital. Mom is freaking out, everyone is fighting, and nobody knows what to do or what is going on. Send happy thoughts our way, please.

Garbage

My all-time favorite band in the universe is Garbage. I've adored Shirley Manson since I was a teenager and first heard "Only Happy When It Rains". She and her music helped pull me from personal darkness when everything was black and getting blacker. Needless to say, I wasn't able to go to the concert on the 13th. I had an opportunity, but it was not an offer I was willing to accept. There will be a next time, I'm sure. To cope, I decided to get my hair chopped off and babysit Abbi and Payton this week until they go back to Mississippi. It's been fun. Abbi is a sweetie pie and Payton has been such a good baby.

Grasshopper!

Sorry for the silence. I haven't had much to write about for a while. Something I guess is blog-worthy: Zac and I were visiting my parents and they took us out to get snoballs. I was sitting in the backseat with Zac, talking about I-can't-remember-what, when suddenly, a giant freaking grasshopper landed on my head. It was horrible! I screamed and practically leaped into Zac's lap. I do not like insects. It was at least three inches long. Gross! But, the snoball was good. I usually get strawberry shortcake with condensed milk... or wedding cake with condensed milk.

A Change

Zac's grandma, whom we call Mawmaw, invited us to come live with her temporarily so we could work and save our money. I've got a part-time position with Pac Sun, which may become full-time after the 90-day trial. I like the job so far. The clothes are my style and I am supposed to wear the shirts as a form of advertisement. Since I work in the mall, I get a discount on Chik-fil-A sweet tea and can sit in the food court or the book store during breaks. I was sad to leave the house in Hammond, but there aren't many work opportunities there. Kenny said we're welcome to move back at any time. Until then, we're going to save money and stay in Zac's old bedroom with our dog, Zoey, and my cat, Amber.

Father's Day

Since today is Father's Day, I spent some quality time with Dad at the apartment while Mom worked. He gave me his old acoustic guitar, as well as a recorder and another camera. I've been thinking of trying to play the guitar again. I've never been good at the recorder, though. I'm also wanting to try my hand at photography. Zac's got a talent for taking photos and he said he would show me some tricks with perspective. Dad used to take photos. He's got an album somewhere, so I'll have to get him to dig them out from wherever next time I visit.

Dad and me, sometime in 1984

Roomies.

Zac's friend Sean moved in with us since we have the space and he wanted to leave his mom's house. So far, it's been pleasant. He cooks, helps clean up, and helped Zac fix the air conditioner unit in the attic. We've been living in a furnace for a while, so the AC is magnificent. Summer in Louisiana is not a cup of tea.

Beach

Zac and I went with a few friends to Waveland, Mississippi last night. It's about an hour drive from where we live. I don't remember ever going to a beach when it was dark, but it was quite romantic. Zac and I walked along the shore, holding hands. Our friends played in the water, but I was too cold to go in. The moon was a crescent, so the stars were incredible. One day, I hope to live near the ocean, just to have nights like that.

Mother's Day 2005

Zac's grandma, whom he calls Mawmaw, wanted to meet me, so we met up with her at Touch of Italy. Zac's Aunts Donna, Janie, and Marie were also there, along with a few cousins. It was kinda awkward. Mawmaw and I aren't quite acquaintances, but it was nice being able to sit and visit with everyone.

World of Warcraft

Zac's friend Sean introduced us to a computer game called World of Warcraft or WoW. Normally, I don't play video games or computer games, aside from Super Mario Bros. or The Sims. Carlton had the Nintendo and Atari, but he never let me in his room to play with them. However, I gave this game a try and really like it. Zac and I stayed up all night playing the game together like a pair of nerds.

I can't decide whether to play Alliance or Horde. I made a Gnome Warlock, but also have an Undead Mage.

Hobbies

I've been trying to keep myself busy with various hobbies while I wait for a full-time position to open at my current job, Walmart. In many cases, I draw, play around on my keyboard from Zac, or read books. Recently, I started playing with Zac's bass guitar, mainly plucking along to Nirvana or Garbage. I think I'd like to learn to play a bass or guitar in the future, once I get passed the ugly, callused-fingertip phase.

Speaking of hobbies, there is a skate park that recently opened not far from the house. Zac has been wanting to go, but he's too shy to skateboard in front of me. I've been wanting to go so I can practice drawing people in motion. There's no way I'd attempt skateboarding, as I'm clumsy and prone to looking silly. 

Visiting my Parents

My parents live in an apartment about an hour southeast from me. Zac and I occasionally make a trip to visit them and watch a movie or just chat about current goings-on. Tonight, Zac is working at Pizza Hut and when he's off, we're going to go the local bar Last Call to watch one of our guitarist friends perform in his band. Zac's a former bassist for that band and he's really talented, mostly influenced by Primus. Eventually, we may move back into town and he'll be able to play again. I was briefly in his other garage band as a singer (along with Kyle, Kevin, Justin, and Calvin) earlier this year. It was called Tetris Chainsaw Massacre, a check off my bucket list and a chance to be Shirley Manson.

I visited with my parents while Zac was working, mostly looking through old family photo albums. Mom informed me that I'm going to be an aunt for the fourth time. My elder sister, Meredith, is pregnant with her first baby. She's really excited about it. I am currently an aunt to two nieces, Krystal and Abbi; a nephew, Payton, and a great-niece, Kylie.

Small history lesson: I'm the fourth of five children in a blended family. My eldest sister, Karen, is Dad's daughter from a previous marriage. She's almost twenty years older than me. Krystal is her only daughter and a year younger than me. Because we're so close in age, I used to think Krystal and I were cousins. I didn't realize Karen was my sister until I was in middle school. Krystal has a daughter named Kylie. She will be three in a few days. Meredith and Carlton are Mom's two children from her previous marriage (five and four years older than me, respectively). Carlton has two children, Abbi (from his first marriage to Neely) and Payton (with his current wife, Teresa). Abbi is two, Payton is six months. Emily is the youngest of the family, coming up almost two years behind me. She and I have the closest relationship.

Family Portrait - 1985
Clockwise from top: Mom, Meredith, Carlton, me on Karen's lap.
Center: Dad holding Baby Emily and Krystal.

Random Questions

01. I hurt: Not much.

02. I love: Completely or not at all.

03. I hate: Bugs.

04. I cry: Rarely.

05. I fear: The unknown.

06. I hope: We can stay in this house.

07. I sadden: When people abuse animals.

08. I feel alone: Nevermore.
09. I kill: Mosquitoes.

10. I talk: Too much or not enough.
11. I listen: To everything.

12. I break: Pretzels.
13. I see: Good things.
14. I smell: Food.
15. I taste: My teeth?
16. I work: At a place I hate.
17. I remember: Useless information.
18. I hold: My breath underwater.
19. I hide: My emotions.
20. I pray: Not often.
21. I walk: Sometimes.
22. I drive: Everywhere.
23. I read: Books.
24. I burn: Candles.
25. I breathe: When things are good.
26. I play: Keyboard.
27. I miss: Simple life.
28. I touch: Myself. :P
30. I feel: Bored.
31. I know: Not enough.
32. I said: Peachy keen, jelly bean.
33. I dream: In color.
34. I have: Boobs.
35. I want: Candy.
36. I fall: When I trip.
37. I wait: Impatiently.
38. I need: A tattoo.
39. I live: In the moment.
40. I die: When I puke.

Five things you say the most:
1. Welp.
2. Awesome.
3. Dude.
4. Mofo.
5. K.

Five movies you think everybody should see:
1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
2. Alice in Wonderland.
3. Edward Scissorhands.
4. The Princess Bride.
5. Pulp Fiction.

For each letter, write the first thing you think about:
A. Art.
B. Books.
C. Coffee.
D. Doughnuts.
E. Eyes.
F. France.
G. Garbage.
H. Home.
I. Icee.
J. Juice.
K. Kittens.

L. Love.
M. Money.
N. News.
O. Orange.
P. Pumpkin.
Q. Queen.
R. River.
S. Sour.
T. Tacos.
U. Underwear.
V. Vixen.
W. Water.
X. X-treme.
Y. Yogurt.
Z. Zac.

And then there was Blogger... An Introduction.

Hello, Blogger. I'm Amy, a twenty-something art-nerd, living in southern Louisiana with my boyfriend, Zac. I've been blogging since 2000, but never really thought about what I wrote. I'm a textbook middle kid, typical Scorpio, and struggled with depression in my teen years. You can sort of imagine my old posts. This is my fresh canvas. I plan to paint it with positivity.

Current "about me" info, which I am not very good at: I like music, mainly classical piano, Celtic, and grunge. My absolute favorite band of all time is Garbage. I'm into mermaids, drawing, and reading sci-fi/fantasy. I hope to one day write a children's book.

My favorite movie is Edward Scissorhands and I have been watching Friends on TV. I try not to be in front of a screen too often, but easier said than done. I love taking walks outside and spending time with nature.

1. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully doing something I really enjoy.
2. Do you want to get married? Yes.
3. Do you want to have children? I do.
4. Do you want to move? If yes, where? I want to move to a house of my own in the mountains.
5. What does your dream house look like? Think modern day Addams family, but slightly smaller.
6. What is your dream job? Something artsy.
7. What are five things you want to do before you die? Hmm. Eat macarons under the Eiffel Tower, swim under a waterfall, visit England, explore a castle in Ireland, have a baby.
8. Are you scared of the future? No, mainly hopeful.
9. What's your biggest dream you would like to achieve in life? I want to travel.
10. What would be the ideal age for you to die? I'd like to die when I have seen my grandkids grow up.