August

It's been a while since I've been in here. Things have been slow or mundane or routine, so here we are.

Let's see. I started therapy. I don't know how I feel about it just yet. Mainly indifferent, not expecting much. Granted, I've only been to two sessions so far and already have my doubts because she doesn't believe Mom is a narcissist. Nobody ever does. However, she mentioned Mom thinks I have depression which is why she wanted me to see a therapist. I don't have depression. Next, I'm not going to school. I don't know if I mentioned that earlier or not, so there's that. I don't really see the point unless I aim for a degree in general studies, which I will do once Cole is older. I had a follow up with my GI doctor and he confirmed IBS and suggested I follow a low FODMAP diet as well as slowly reintroduce the foods I've been sensitive to. He acknowledged and validated my anxiety, which is always reassuring. Oh, and I just finished treating a UTI because I had to go to Urgent Care last week from urinary burning out of the blue. Thankfully, it's done with.

So, about reintroducing things. I had the most reaction to gluten so I've avoided it as much as possible. First attempt was to take a bite of a flour tortilla, note the time and wait for a reaction. I usually feel the pinching sensations within an hour of consuming anything containing wheat. An hour passed, no pains. A day passed, no pain. Zac suggested a trip to China Cafe for my sesame tofu... I was in. I had a small bowl, no pains. I can't even explain the relief. I'm still a little cautious, though. I don't want to overdo it and cause any affects. I'm just excited for carrot cake for my birthday. I don't want to go bananas with all the foods, so I'm going to stick to gluten-free per usual and eat whatever on the weekends. I don't want to gain all that weight back.

Not much else going on aside from the usual pandemic stuff. It looks like we're headed toward another lockdown since the conservatives aren't getting vaccinated or wearing masks and the numbers keep climbing. TBH, I'm not as anxious about it this time as it's expected. Zac and I have some plans in the event a lockdown happens, but I'll share more on that if the time comes. Meanwhile, we're doing our part.